Liberty Girl: The Equalizer (Episode Seven)

Weeks have passed, and still Liberty Girl is a prisoner of the Equalizer.  Her effort to convince the superheroine American Babe to help her ended with both girls unconscious.  With her resolve crumbling and her body beaten and bruised, will our heroine ever be able to escape her evil captors?  Or will "Liberty Girl Loses" be an internet sensation until the end of her days?



Scene One: Liberty Girl sits silently in her cell, chained up in the usual way.

LG (internal monologue): There's just... No way out.  They've won.  They've beaten me.  I can't... No, Liberty Girl.  Stop.  You're not done yet.  There's still time.  They'll make a mistake.  You just have to... Do something... Even though you're tired... And weak... And powerless...

MM (via intercom): You awake in there, Liberty Girl?

LG: What do you want?

MM: I just wanted to read some stats to you, and let you know how the business is doing.

LG: I don't care.

MM: Listen up.  We now have two thousand subscriptions to Liberty Girl Loses dot com.

LG: Great.

MM: You've been in thirty fights so far.  And you've lost every single time.

LG: Yeah, I know.

MM: Business is good, but web traffic seems to be slowing.  So we think it's time to give our paying customers an incentive to stick around.

LG: You mean they're tired of watching strangers beat up a young woman?  Wow.  Shocking.

MM: We're going to create a special video for customers who are with us for two months.  And in it we're going to reveal your secret identity.

LG: What?

MM: You heard me, Denise.

LG: But... You can't...

MM: Oh what do you care, Liberty Girl?  Everyone's probably already figured it out anyway.  No Denise for weeks, and no Liberty Girl for weeks.  Hmm... Must be a coincidence.

LG: But... It'll leak... You won't have...

MM: Even if your name gets out, the video won't.  It will be treasured by the select few who reach that stage in their subscription.

LG: This is wrong, Megan.  And it will kill your business.

MM: No, Liberty Girl.   It will kill YOUR business.  And it won't stop people from signing up.  We'll promise surprises throughout the year.

LG: Megan.  Listen to me... You...

MM: We're gonna do it with your friend American Babe too.  You wanna know who she is?  I already told her who you are.

LG: You didn't!

MM: I did.  But she'd never heard of you.  You've probably heard of her, though...

LG: I don't want to know.

MM: All I'll say is that it's pretty nice to have your magic lasso, Liberty Girl.  Really makes interrogations a cinch.

LG: How dare you tell her who I am!  What's wrong with you?

MM: I wouldn't sweat it, Liberty Girl.  After all, you're about to tell our customers, too.  Guards!  Bring her to the office.

The guards enter the room and begin unchaining the struggling Liberty Girl.  Fade to black.



Scene Two: In "the office."  The guards unchain Liberty Girl and, with one holding her tightly in place, begin tying the magic lasso around her wrists, in front of her.

LG: So you guys like doing this?

Guard One: Yeah.

LG: Your work gives you a sense of meaning, right?

Guard One: Yeah, sure.

LG: Pretty pathetic.

Guard Two (tying her wrists): The moment I saw you on TV, I knew I could beat you.

LG: You haven't beaten anything, bud.  It's your bosses who captured me.  You're just some lucky thug.

Guard Two: I am lucky, I'll give you that.

He reaches around LG's body and pinches her ass.

LG: Hey!

Guard Two: But look at you.  You're not so tough.

LG: Give me my belt back and fight me, then.

Guard One: Hahahaha.  No.

Guard Two: That wouldn't be very fair.  To us.

LG: Well, you can't say you've beaten me unless you've beaten me with my belt.  That's all I'm saying.

Guard One: Alright, up ya go, Liberty Girl.

The guard tosses an end of the lasso over a rafter and pulls on it, lifting LG's tied wrists up above her head.

Guard One: The boss should be here any second now.

Guard Two: I guess we could ask her a few questions now that she's tied up like this.

LG (shaking her head): Sigh...

Guard One: But what could we ask her that we don't already know?

Guard Two: Shit... I don't know.

LG: Why don't you ask me if I'm afraid of you?

Guard One: Hey.  That's an idea.  Liberty Girl... Are you afraid of us?

LG: No.

Guard Two: Well I guess that's the truth.

Guard One: I'll make her afraid.

Just as Guard One steps over to LG, the Equalizer and Megan walk into the room.

EQ: Guards, step away from Liberty Girl.  Go set up the camera.

LG: Sorry boys.

Guard One: Ah dammit.  Okay boss.

The guards begin setting up the equipment and the Equalizer walks over to Liberty Girl and holds the loose end of her rope.

EQ: It's been a long time, hasn't it?

LG: Not long enough.

EQ: Did you miss me?

LG: No.

EQ: Haha.  That rope still works, I see.

MM: Which is a shame for you, Liberty Girl.  Because this is it for you and your little secret.

LG: You're blowing your good thing, Megan.  Can't you see?  Once people know my secret identity, they'll stop signing up.

MM: I don't think that's true, Liberty Girl, and you know it.

EQ: Oh yes.  There's plenty more we can do with you.

MM: We actually conducted a poll of our customers to see what they wanted next.

EQ: A majority said your secret identity.

MM: But a close second said... your tits.

LG: What?

MM: Haha, yes.  Our clients would like to see you topless.

EQ: We figure that will be the next bonus video we shoot.

LG: But why?  What does that do for you?

EQ: Well, for starters, it makes you squirm.  Doesn't it, Liberty Girl?  You don't want your top taken off, do you?

LG: No.

EQ: Didn't think so.

MM: We had more than a few people who want to see you dead.  But obviously we can't do that.  Not for a long while, anyway.

EQ: And some guys... Well... Some guys just wanna see you get fucked.

LG: That's gross.

EQ: It is.  But you know what they say... You have to give the people what they want.

LG: You said you weren't going to do that.

MM: We did.  But you have to keep things fresh, Liberty Girl.

EQ: Sometimes that means changing the business model.

Guard One: We're finished here.

EQ: Okay, good.  Let's start rolling in a second.

LG: So this video... This isn't live?

EQ: No.  We'll save it on the hard drive and give it out to our long-standing customers.

MM: Yeah.  If you got out of here, you might still have time to delete the file and protect your greatest secret.  That's what you're thinking about, isn't it?

LG: ...Yes.

EQ: But you're not getting out of here.

Guard One: Okay, we're rolling.

EQ: Let's do this.   Hello, loyal Liberty Girl Loses subscribers.  Welcome to Bonus Video Number One: Liberty Girl Reveals Her Secret Identity.

MM: Say hello, Liberty Girl.  Don't you want to say hello?

LG: ...No.

EQ: Haha.  Don't worry, folks.  We'll have her talking soon enough.

MM: Those of you who have gotten to this point know that no one can resist the spell of Liberty Girl's magic lasso.  Not even Liberty Girl herself.

EQ: Isn't that right, Liberty Girl?  Isn't it true that you have to tell us the truth when bound with your magic lasso?

LG: Yes.

EQ: Here are Equalizer Productions, we are just delighted by ironies like this.  Why would a superheroine carry a tool that can be used against her?

LG: Everyone watching needs to listen.  Turn this video off right now.  Call the cops.  You have to get me out of here.

MM: You've seen this song and dance before, people.  Pay no mind to Liberty Girl.  She's just a little nervous.

EQ: After all, she's about to tell you a secret that she's told to NO ONE.

LG: You guys don't want to do this.  Turn your computer off.  You are doing a horrible thing...

Megan socks Liberty Girl in the stomach to shut her up.

MM: Quiet, please.  Now, let's get down to business.

EQ: Liberty Girl.  What is your greatest secret?

LG: My... secret identity.

EQ: Good.  Now.  What would it mean if your secret identity was revealed to the public?

LG: The end of... my superheroine career.  The villains... Could find me.  Ambush me.  The cops would... throw me in jail.

EQ: But you're a superheroine!  Couldn't you... fight them off?

LG: No.  Without my powers, I'm... Only as strong as a normal woman.

MM: I'd say you're significantly less strong that that.

EQ: So you really, really don't want us to ask you about your secret identity, do you?

LG: Don't do it.  Please.

EQ: But you're worried.  You're worried because you're sure we will ask you about it, yes?

LG: Yes.

EQ: Haha... What would you do to avoid us asking about your secret identity?

LG: I'd do... Anything.

EQ: But without your powers... You can't get out, can you?

LG: No.

EQ: So I guess that means we're at the point when I ask you.  Liberty Girl... What is your secret...

MM: Wait.  Let's do this... Slowly.

EQ: What?

MM: I mean, let's draw it out.  Even more.

LG: Megan... What...

MM: Liberty Girl.  Your real name.  Your first name.  What letter does it start with?

LG: Ughh... D.

EQ: Oh, I see.  Haha.

MM: And your last name.  What letter does it start with?

LG: Ugghh... uhh... K.

MM: So your initials are D.K.?

LG: Yes.

MM: Let's talk about your first name some more.  Does it rhyme with anything?

LG: Not... Really.

MM: Does it sort of rhyme with, oh, "decrease"?

LG: Uggh... Yes.

MM: So we're getting closer.

LG: Megan... Stop...

MM: Your last name.  It's got a, royal flavor, doesn't it?

LG: ...Yes.  I guess.

MM: So is your name... Oh... Sharice Prince?

LG: No.

MM: Oh, right.  How could it be?  You said your initials were D.K.!  Silly me.

LG: Megan...

MM: D names... D names... Debbie?  Is your name Debbie?

LG: No.

MM: Alright then, I give up.  Liberty Girl.  Could you spell your real first name for me, please?

LG: Uggh.... D... E... N...

MM: Yes... Yes...

LG: I...S...E...

MM: Denise!  Your first name is Denise?

LG: Yes.

Liberty hangs her head in shame.

MM: We're not done yet, Denise.  How do you spell your last name?

LG: Ughh.. K... I... N... G...

EQ: This is great.

LG: S...T...O...N.

MM: Kingston!  So your full name is Denise Kingston?

LG: Yes.

EQ: To be clear... Liberty Girl... What is your secret identity?

LG: Denise... Kingston.

MM: Hahah!  There you have it, folks!  Liberty Girl's secret identity!  She's some girl named Denise Kingston!  Look her up online, read all about her.

EQ: Thanks your your time, everybody!  Coming soon... Liberty Girl topless!



MM: Okay, turn off the camera.

The Guard consents.

Guard One: Wow.  She's really just... Some girl.

Liberty Girl's head is lowered.  Her body quivers.  She might be crying, softly.

MM: Yeah, of course, you dummy.  What did you think she was?  Some alien?

Guard One: Umm, yeah?

EQ: You idiot.  Didn't we tell you?  Without the belt, she's powerless.  She's just some dumb bitch in a bikini.

Guard One: So.  This is all pretty weird then, isn't it?

EQ: What?

Guard Two: Yeah.  If Liberty Girl is just some average chick, then we've been doing something really fucked up here the last month.

MM: What the hell is this?

Guard One: Yeah.  We've imprisoned some girl.  And made these videos.  And humiliated her.

EQ: You two are fired.  Get out of her, right now.

Guard Two: No.  We're ending this.

EQ: Ending what?  What is this bullshit?  A change of heart?  How could you not realize...?

Guard One: Come on.  Let's save Liberty Girl.

EQ: You fools!  Stop!

Guard One punches the Equalizer to the ground.  Guard Two runs at Megan and quickly puts her in a chokehold.  Guard One walks away from the downed Equalizer and starts untying Liberty Girl's wrists.

LG: What?  What are you..?

Guard One: We've made a horrible mistake.

LG: You're saving me?

Guard One: Yeah.

The guard finishes the untying.  Liberty Girl quickly bundles up her lasso and sticks it in her boot.

LG: Where are they keeping my belt?

Guard Two: This one's been keeping it on her person lately.

Guard Two wrestles the screaming Megan to the ground and pulls LG's belt out of her pocket.  He tosses it to Liberty Girl, who catches it and wraps it around her waist.

LG: Thanks.

MM: You!  You fucking idiots!  What are you doing!  Equalizer!  Ned!  Jesus, help!

The Equalizer tries to get to his feet.  Liberty Girl struts over to him and kicks him in the chin, sending him flying on his back.

LG: Looks like my powers are back.

EQ: Augh... This can't... Be happening...

LG: First things first.

Liberty Girl picks up the camera and hurls it against the wall, where it shatters into pieces.

MM: No!

LG: And now it's time for some payback.

Liberty Girl proceeds to rough Megan and the Equalizer up real good.  She finally tosses them in a near unconscious heap to the floor.

LG: Thousands of people have watched me lose.  It's gonna take time to boost my superheroine reputation.  But no one knows the source of my power.  And no one knows my secret identity.

EQ: Wrong... Liberty Girl... We know.

MM: And your new friends... They know.

LG: Well, I trust these guys.

She nods at the Guards.  They grin at her.

Guard One: Wow.  I can't believe we're doing something good.

LG: And you all.  Let's say I've learned from my mistakes.  You're both dead.

EQ: What?

LG: Yeah.

EQ: But... Isn't that...

LG: Don't care.  You're both dead.  But not before I start a little website of my own.  Something like, "Liberty Girl Wins."  Or... "Villains Suck, Dot Com."

MM: You... Bitch.

LG: I think this could be a pretty lucrative business, actually.  Thanks for the idea.

EQ: Noo...

LG: I'm nobody's equal.

THE END

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